Ten Gifts for Pastor’s Wife
It’s March here in Texas and that means that the mornings are freezing and the afternoons are sweltering.
Dressing my kids in weather appropriate clothing is an impossibility, so I now just ask them if they want to be cold in the morning or hot in the afternoon.
Based on their answer, I grab pants or shorts and move on with the morning.
But despite all the wishy-washiness of spring in Texas, March is one of my favorite months of the year because my birthday is March 29th.
Yes, I’m 33 years old, and I still get excited about my birthday.
I think part of my excitement is because my love languages are gifts and quality time, and I get both for my birthday.
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I love getting presents.
Like all presents.
Even when my kids just bring me flowers from the yard, it makes me so happy that they wanted to give me a gift.
Unfortunately, not all presents are tiny daisies from the overgrown jungle that is our backyard.
Sometimes the kids bring me gecko bones or a container filled with bugs.
And even though I know they are bringing me a wet bird feather because they think it’s super cool, I immediately start thinking about how we’re all going to contract Avian flu and die in 72 hours.
And my face shows it.
I cannot control my face.
And as much as I hate to hurt my precious kiddos feelings, it’s even worse when I hurt someone’s feelings at church. I say that because I know my kids love me even when I make a disgusted face at their gift.
Church members don’t always love me.
And along with my birthday, March is Pastor Wife’s Appreciation Month (seriously, it’s a thing… I didn’t make it up) so presents come from all over in March.
But people often have no idea what to give their pastor’s wife.
And this connundrum presents itself all over again (though in a lesser degree) in October for Pastor Appreciation Month. There are some sweet souls who recognize that my husband is an awesome pastor and that I help with that awesomeness quite a bit. So they want to get me a gift and are totally stumped.
And I get it.
The pastor’s wife can be an intimidating person.
I mean, she’s married to the man that interprets God’s holy word and proclaims it to you every week.
Surely his connection to Jesus has rubbed off on her in some way and she’s a bit holier than everyone else.
I’m still the same old sinner. I just happened to learn a few Greek words because I spent a large portion of my second pregnancy going through Greek flashcards with my husband.
Yes, I do spend most of my day praying, but they are those little short desperate prayers like, “Jesus, help me to keep my mouth closed.” or “Please God, don’t let this moisture under my foot be pee, not again today.”
So as a regular pastor’s wife, let me tell you some gifts that every pastor’s wife I know would love:
1. Fancy Food
When I go to the grocery store with my four kids, it is a spectacle.
I have strangers stopping me to ask, “Are all those kids yours?!?!” and telling me to “Enjoy your kids.” on every. single. trip.
And I get it.
I know how I look pushing one shopping cart and pulling another – like an exhausted, overwhelmed mom because that’s exactly what I am.
And as I move our caravan past the aisle with the fancy chocolates and treats, I always look longingly at them. I rarely buy any because I don’t want to share a $7 chocolate bar with my four tiny humans or eat it alone while hiding in the closet.
But when other people give me sea salted caramels, well, they are heroes to me.
And while not all women like sea salted caramels, all women do have some fancy treat preference.
It may be popcorn, Jones Soda, chocolate covered pomegranates, fancy herbal teas, white chocolate dipped pretzels, or some other deliciousness. Make a guess, do some low key investigation, or buy her some fancy treats that you love.
I’ve yet to meet a woman that doesn’t like Tom’s shoes.
Your pastor’s wife may be the exception, but every lady I know loves Tom’s.
And why not?
They’re cute, comfy, and they give shoes to barefoot children across the world.
Finding out your pastor’s wife’s shoe size should be pretty easy – just ask her husband. If he doesn’t know, you could have one of her kids go on a “secret mission” and find out for you.
If you don’t want to pay full price, they are cheap on eBay!
3. Diffuser and Essential Oils
I’m going to tell you right now, being a pastor’s wife is a stressful job. There are plenty of days that I just want to quit being a pastor’s wife altogether.
Pastors never leave work at the office because shepherding God’s people is not a nine to five job. It’s not supposed to be.
Balancing ministry and marriage is a real challenge.
So if you can give your pastor’s wife a gift that brings some calm to her chaos, you will be a champion.
I love my diffuser and essential oils.
And here’s the thing – I don’t know if the essential oils actually bring peace and calm or if I have just been classically conditioned to feel more peaceful and calm when I smell a particular scent.
Either way, I legitimately feel better with essential oils.
4. Bath & Body Works
My son, Dax, is eight years old now and is incredibly verbose, but he didn’t talk for the first two years of his life.
My husband and I were talking about taking him to a speech therapist. Then one day he walked into my bedroom and said, “Mom, I need lotion.”
Apparently, until that point, his life had been so perfect he just hadn’t needed to say anything.
All that to say, we use a lot of lotion at my house.
And it’s all store brand, unscented lotion because all my kids have sensitive skin and don’t know what “dime size amount” means.
We go through lotion like nobody’s business around here.
But I have a tiny secret stash of some Bath and Body Works lotion that I use every night before bed.
It was a gift, and I love it.
It smells like I am a woman who fixes her hair and wears outfits, instead of a woman who throws her hair into a bun and wears athleisure wear every day.
The only caveat to this gift is to be sure to give her a gift receipt with it.
While .you may LOVE Warm Vanilla Sugar, your pastor’s wife may hate the smell of vanilla.
I know I do.
5. A Haircut
I go and get my hair cut about every 18 months.
My last haircut was done at home, by my husband.
I wear my hair up in a messy bun 90% of the time, and it just feels a little pointless to bother having a really nice haircut that I don’t ever show.
But one of the most thoughtful gifts I’ve received was so low key.
A sweet friend paid for me to get my hair cut at my salon before I got there.
I went in for my hair cut and got it all done, and when it was time to pay, my stylist said, “It’s already been taken care of.” She wouldn’t even let me tip her!
It was a real treat.
If you don’t want to conspire with your pastor’s wife’s stylist, you can always get her a gift certificate to the salon.
6. A manicure and/or pedicure
I’ve had exactly one manicure in my life – for my wedding.
I got these beautiful french tip nails put on and they looked amazing in my wedding photos.
Then I tried to take out my contacts and realized I couldn’t get them because I had fake nails on.
I freaked out for a while thinking I’d have to live with contacts stuck on my eyeballs for the rest of my life, and then my (brand new) husband dug around in my eyeball and pulled out my contacts.
He does it all people.
Hair cuts and contact removal.
Then when I was pregnant with our first child, a friend took me to get a pedicure.
That was a much better experience since I don’t use my toes for anything.
It was relaxing to sit and chat while someone took care of my feet.
And my toes looked great for my delivery.
So if you are a manicure/pedicure type person, maybe you could invite your pastor’s wife to go with you the next time you go.
It would be a great opportunity to get to know her a little better because being a pastor’s wife often makes it hard to make friends.
7. Babysit for FREE
This gift is a real act of service and may need to be a team gift.
I love my kids fiercely, but they are not easy to put to bed.
Bedtime in our house is an hour-long ordeal of prayers, songs, bedtime stories, toothpaste issues, snacks, drinks, blanket hunts, and bathroom trips.
By the time I get all the kids in bed for the final time, I am utterly exhausted.
So when we have a babysitter, we pay them at least $50 for an evening out.
Which is absolutely worth the money because we 100% believe in prioritizing your marriage, but it’s also not something we can afford to do super often.
So if you’d like to gift your pastor’s wife something, gift her a date with her husband.
Come and babysit her kids for free so that they can spend time together.
8. Fancy Bath Stuff
Every woman I know loves fancy bath stuff.
Bath salts, bath bombs, whipped soaps, bath soaks, shower melts, bath oils, and more.
And you don’t have to special order expensive stuff.
I love Dr. Teal’s bath salts and soaks.
I love getting plants as a gift.
I love all the plants.
Aloe, ivy, succulents, herbs, flowers, small trees, and all the rest.
Someone could give me a tomato plant and I would love it and try my hardest to keep it alive.
I just love seeing them bloom and grow.
If you’re not sure if your pastor’s wife has a green thumb, try getting her a plant that is easy to care for like Devil’s Ivy or aloe.
Go buy (or order) a small plant and repot it in a cute pot.
Put a little tag with instructions for care or just leave the tag it came with.
10. Gift Cards
If you still aren’t sure what to buy your pastor’s wife, gift cards are always perfect.
You could even attach a card that encourages her to spend the money on something for herself instead of something practical for her family.
A few of my favorite places to get gift cards are Amazon, Target, and restaurants.
Amazon is great because you can get almost anything shipped to your door for free.
Target is great because I love roaming around Target and buying cute things that I totally don’t need but definitely want.
Restaurant cards are great for using on a date with my husband to help offset the cost of the sitter or to take the whole family out when I’m just too tired to cook.
In conclusion, your pastor’s wife may seem impossible to buy for, but she’s not.
If you don’t find the perfect gift on this list, take some time and think about what you know about her.
What are her hobbies?
What do you see her with often?
Is she always carrying a coffee or tea?
Does she write with a certain kind of pen?
Take some time to observe her so that your gift will be personalized to her instead of just “a pastor’s wife.”
Or give her a gift card so she can buy exactly what she wants. 🙂
What are some gifts you’ve gotten for your pastor’s wife? Tell us in the comments!
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