Why I Hate Homeschooling, but I’m Doing it Anyway
About two years ago, God placed it on my heart that I needed to start homeschooling my kids.
I took it off my heart and placed it on a shelf, explaining to God that I was going to need Him to show me FOR SURE that it was what He wanted me to do.
So He did.
And in September 2017, we began an incredibly rocky homeschool journey.
And now that our first year has ended, I can safely say that I still hate homeschooling.
I only committed to one year, so I could enroll them in the FABULOUS public schools in our town and be free of this burden.
But, I’ve already bought the curriculum for next year.
See, the fact that I hate homeschooling doesn’t mean that it’s bad for my kids.
In fact, despite the trial by fire sort of year we’ve had, they have learned so much.
Related: I’m Not a Fun Mom and I Don’t Care
And this isn’t just a humble brag about how I’m a great teacher.
Yes, I have a Master’s Degree in Teaching and taught public school for six years.
Yes, I was awesome at it.
That brings me to the first reason why I hate homeschooling.
I hate homeschooling because I miss the point.
The point of my job in public education was clear. I taught the students foundational rules and skills for mastery of language arts. My job as a homeschooling mom is different.
I teach my kids every subject. Which I mess up so many times during the day. Like forgetting that 6×7=42. But, it’s bigger than that.
I forget my purpose and calling in homeschooling them.
I get so wrapped up in the tangible – completed worksheets, memorized facts, passing tests – that I forget the intangible.
I forget that my calling is to nurture their hearts.
To make sure that they love God and love others.
That’s why God started us on this journey.
Sadly, there’s no worksheet for that.
It’s something that I have to model.
ALL DAY.
EVERY DAY.
DAY AFTER DAY.
FOREVER.
I know that my kids are looking to me as an example of how Christians really live.
At home.
Behind closed doors.
When things are bad and there doesn’t seem to be a way out.
When people you love are dying.
When being in vocational ministry sucks.
And I’m so imperfect.
I get it wrong so often, it hurts.
But when I get it right, it’s amazing.
Last year, my kids and I memorized twenty Bible verses. Which basically quadrupled the number of Bible verses I knew at 33 years old.
Related: How to Teach Kids to Memorize Scripture
We learned sign language to some of their favorite Christian songs because my oldest took an interest in ASL.
So now we are that weird family on the front row singing and signing the worship music on Sundays.
We completed 36 family service projects.
We did a morning devotional three out of five mornings each week.
Related Posts: The Best Devotional for Your Whole Family & How to Actually Do a Family Devotional
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I know that there are families that do public school AND all of the things that I just said, and I am truly in awe of them.
If you’re one of them, please tell me in the comments and then send me an email explaining how you do it. For real.
Because when my kids were in public school, we spent our weekdays in survival mode and our weekends just catching up.
I hate homeschooling because of my need for solitude.
The constant presence of my kids seeing all my flaws is a big reason I hate homeschooling, but it isn’t the only reason.
Just being with my own kids 24 hours a day is exhausting.
I miss the quiet of when they were in school and the babies took naps.
There is no quiet now.
Ever.
And I am a person who craves quiet.
So I’m learning to adjust.
Related: Please Stop Telling Me to Enjoy My Kids
I also want to do things without four kids.
I want to roam around Target sipping Starbucks listening to audiobooks and perusing the clearance racks for stuff I definitely don’t need but kind of want to have.
And that whole scenario is impossible when driving one of those double seated expansion shopping carts.
I hate homeschooling because it takes place in my home.
And it’s messy.
So messy. And not from fun craft projects because I’m not a fun mom.
It’s just messy from four kids.
And I’m sure there are moms out there who are able to handle the chaotic mess better than me.
If you’re one of them, please share your secrets in the comments.
We can all benefit from mess wrangling tips.
My current routine is to start the diffuser with Stress Away, blast some Lauren Daigle, and try to clean while not letting housekeeping steal my joy.
But all my reasons for hating homeschooling are selfish.
And while I’m all about self-care, i.e. be a healthy mom and let go of that mommy guilt, God didn’t call us to do the things that we want to do.
I seriously doubt any of the early church wanted to be martyrs.
So, as long as I am certain that I am supposed to homeschool my kids, I will put my own desires for solitude, quiet, and clean to the side in favor of following Christ’s example of sacrifice.
Because it is a sacrifice to homeschool them.
Related: Is It Okay to Just Have a Bad Day?
But I am sure that in this season of life, this is one of the sacrifices God has called me to make.
I would never try to convince someone else to homeschool, although I do often try to convince God to let me stop homeschooling.
I would like to convince you of one thing.
Whether you homeschool, private school, public school, or unschool, remember that you are your children’s most important teacher.
God has placed your children to learn by your example even when you need space, to learn by your words even when they are lost in the chaos of a loud house, and to learn from your grace even when your life is cluttered.
My prayer for you is that you not just accept this calling, but embrace it. Even though you may want to convince God that someone else would do it better, or you just need a break.
God made the right choice when He chose you.
Are you a homeschooling parent that hates it? Tell us in the comments!
Related Posts:
I’m Not a Fun Mom and I Don’t Care
Is It Okay to Just Have a Bad Day?
How to Teach Kids to Memorize Scripture
6 Things You Need to Be a Healthy Mom
What My Two-Year-Old Taught Me About Guilt
Why I Quit Trying to Be a Minimalist
Please Stop Telling Me to Enjoy My Kids
How to Be Hospitable When You’re an Introvert
39 Service Projects for the Whole Family
How to Stop Housekeeping From Stealing Your Joy
Great article!
I have a love-hate relationship with homeschooling my daughter.
I love that are mornings aren’t rushed getting her on a school bus before 7:30 am (and driving her to school when she misses said bus). I love seeing the “ah-ha” and “oh, I get this” moments when she masters a concept she struggled with. I love knowing she can actually eat lunch casually instead of choking her food down in under 5 minutes because by the time her class reaches the cafeteria and she sits down that’s all of the “20 minute lunch period” that remained for her to eat before being told lunch time was over.
But in spite of all the things I love….I HATE teaching her. And it’s 100% me, not her. Homeschooling brings out the worst in me, the drill-sergent “why haven’t you fished your work?????” the “we’ve been over this 100 times, when are you going to get it????” maniac.
I’d be a lot calmer and willing to roll with whatever happens (if it takes a whole week for her to truly understand one math lesson, who cares? She’s not in a race with anyone so as long as she’s moving forward what does it really matter?) if we were “homeschoolers until graduation”, but my daughter wants to go to public school again in middle school, which will be next school year. So I feel so much more pressure to to keep up with, if not get a bit ahead of “grade level” so she’s not going to look like she’s below grade level….or if I’m keeping it real, like I didn’t have what it takes to teach her so she “suffered because her mom couldn’t teach her and wouldn’t let the professionals do it” (never mind the number of public school kids who have been “taught by professionals” since day one yet lag in one area or another).
I’m slowly getting better. I’m leaning to relax more, and to enjoy this time. But it’s definitely a process.
I do love our relaxed mornings!! But you’re right. I struggle with comparing my kids to other kids and worrying that they’re behind and it’s all my fault! But I know for this season it’s the best thing for our family. But as soon as God lets me know, they can go back to school, I AM READY. 🙂
I’m curious, why are you homeschooling? How did God call you? Is it just a feeling you have or is it circumstances like a bad school district?
Loved this! Expressed my feelings so well!